So, I have this weird obsession with not feeling like my weight loss is valid. I still eat everything I normally would have, just a lot less. When people talk about how "inspirational" I am and use words like "incredible" and "amazing" I feel guilty. I know that's stupid because regardless of how I did it, I didn't use any pills or gimmicks, I did it on my own. I just feel bad that I'm still eating brownies (which I will never again have in my house!) and ice cream and things like that and losing weight. My mind tells me that I'm a fraud when I get compliments. I feel like I don't work hard enough to be called those things and for so many people to call me an inspiration. I've been told recently by a friend that I've always thought was so fit on their own that I am an inspiration to them. Why? What have I really done? Nothing special, people lose weight all the time. Am I proud of myself for losing weight? Yes. Do I think I'm an inspiration? No. I'm just being me and going about my daily life.
I think it's weird how my mind works like this. Now, eight months in, I can see a change in myself in the mirror. I still see a lot of bad though and I don't think I'm as small as some people say I am. I see it in pictures if I compare the "old me" next to it, but it's hard to see otherwise most days. I've read other blogs and talked to others that have lost a lot of weight and they said they felt the same way. I just wonder if/when it goes away.
Anyway, I guess there was no point to posting this. Just something I was thinking about. More ramblings from me! ;)
I find it hard to take compliments about my weight all the time. I totally understand what you're saying. Isn't it messed up how our minds work? Ugh! Please do not feel like your weight loss is not valid, you know you worked hard to get where you are. And please do not feel guilt, or pressure about being an inspiration to people. We look up to you because we see how far you've come, we see your commitment. Everybody has days were they don't do well on their food, we're not perfect. I think if I didn't indulge once in awhile I would definitley go crazy. It's the people that stick with it, and keep going even after they have a slip up that are an inspiration. You didn't give up. Please be proud of what you've accomplished! You didn't do any crazy diets, you actually changed your way of living and that in itself is inspirational because you've changed your life for the better. You made a decision and stuck with it. That is freakin awesome, most people can't. So please don't let your negative thoughts bring you down, you do look "amazing", and what you've done so far is "incredible." You are an "inspiration" girl!
ReplyDeleteYou're so sweet. I try not to think about it, but it's hard. Harder too knowing that everyone is looking to me as this inspiration and if I were to fail....well that would suck. I don't plan on failing, but it does bring on an added pressure you know? Thank you though, you're totally right. Some day our heads will stop playing games with us my beautiful friend! :)
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