Remember this feeling.

Today was a good day. I lost another .6lbs bringing it to a total of 3.3lbs lost this week. I am now at 194.4lbs. I have been struggling so much with trying to get the scale to go down that it caused a lot of frustration with this whole ordeal. However, today I lost again. And today I had a "moment" of realization of how far I've come. A couple of them actually.

I realized today that a couple months ago I was texting a friend and we were talking about my weight loss and she said I was so small and I made the comment that I was still 216lbs and it felt like it was going to take forever to get to under 200. Now, today I am 22lbs down from that day. It was a completely surreal moment to think about it. This entire process is surreal to me. I never would have thought in a million years (and most days you have to convince me of it!) that I could be where I am today. I'm still a good amount away from where I want to be, but more than once I've been told I look nowhere near the weight that I am. That is a fantastic feeling. The number is a really important thing for me because I'm obsessed with it, but looking and most of all feeling good are what matter most.

Tonight we took the kids to the park and I was climbing all over the structure with them and sliding down the slides with them. Seven months ago when I moved here I could have never done that. I wouldn't have even tried really. I did attempt a slide with my daughter one day but it was super uncomfortable and I could barely get down it because of my size. Now I slide down just for the fun of it and I go just as fast as she does!

After the park we went to the grocery store. This is where my "Remember this feeling" moment comes into play. I was walking through the store with my list and I realized that I felt good being there. That for once I didn't feel like people were looking at me and judging me by what was in my cart. I knew the things I wanted and I strayed from my list a bit but knowing and feeling comfortable about what was good and what wasn't. It was just an awesome moment to realize I finally felt like a normal person should. I used to love going to the grocery store before, but it was because I loved food. I still love food, but in a much different way. I eat a lot less of it and I eat better. I still have ice cream, I still have cookies....I'm not a saint. BUT I know my limits now and I feel like if I wanted to, I could probably do this all okay without tracking it on My Fitness Pal. I won't be stopping anytime soon, but I am feeling more and more confident with myself these days. I just can't wait until I feel comfortable shopping! I still can't do it. I walked into The Loft outlet recently and The GAP outlet and I walked back out because I still felt like people were looking at me like "What is that fat girl doing in here thinking she can fit into these clothes? Is she kidding?!" I am so excited for the days when that goes away. Baby steps. :)

With that I leave you with another comparison photo. Left is right after my birthday somewhere around September 1st or so and the right is from last Saturday November 25th. I don't see a big difference, but I can see some improvement. So fun looking back and seeing little by little how I've changed.